Already got asked if we're dating
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
