How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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