Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Terrible idea I love it
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
