I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
