i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize