I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
