he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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