Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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