Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
