"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
