I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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