You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
