sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
