Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You were trust falling into bushes
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
