Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My penis needs a shock collar
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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