you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
