We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
