So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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