Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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