Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.

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(949): View more from California

It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.

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(914): View more from New York

End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.

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(478): View more from Georgia

I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it

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(515): View more from Iowa

I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"

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