I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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