I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
