What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
