I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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