I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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