I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize