Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Randomize
