My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Randomize
