Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
