I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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