I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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