Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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