apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
