We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
