Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
