there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
