I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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