I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I want a musical about memes.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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