So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
