Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
