My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
