I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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