you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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