Why are handjobs necessary in class?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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