I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
