well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
