If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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