the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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