didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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