Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
