wat bout pragnant strippers??
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Dear god my vagina.
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