Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize