Pants 0. Shit 1.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
