Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
