I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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