hell yes lets make some ravioli
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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