We should be called the Road Head Warriors
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
