so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Can i not drive my cunt home
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
