First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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