; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
