at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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