and you said cock pushups were impossible
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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