I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
