No awkward lesbian experiences without me
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
