you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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