i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
