I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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