He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
