I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize