belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
