i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize